Monday, May 21, 2018

A Love Letter to Moving Away from Home

I honestly don’t remember packing my stuff up 11 years ago to move away from home into my college dorm.  I do remember saying goodbye to my parents at the gas station and being pleasantly surprised that they both cried, even though we’d be seeing each other in less than a week.  I found out years later that the only reason my mom cried was that she was worried I’d flunk out and be back at home within the semester.  And I deserved that.  I graduated high school a completely mediocre student – no honors, no scholarships (except for HOPE which only required a 3.0 at the time), C’s in Chemistry and Algebra II.  I wasn’t out partying all the time; I was just lazy and put in very little effort.  Plus, not caring about my grades was another way to make myself different from my sisters, and back then, it was really important for me to stand out from them (classic Middle Child Syndrome).

Thankfully, I did not flunk out of college.  I spent one year at Valdosta State University in Valdosta, Georgia before I transferred to Georgia Southern University in Statesboro, Georgia.  I graduated from GSU in May of 2012 and headed off to graduate school at the University of South Carolina in Columbia, South Carolina.  During this time, I spent the summer of 2013 in West Long Branch, New Jersey in an internship at Monmouth University.  I took my first full-time professional position at USC before finishing my graduate degree, so I was in Columbia until March of 2015 when I moved to LaGrange, Georgia to work at LaGrange College.  Finally, I left LaGrange College in May 2016 to pursue a new career with the federal government in Fairhope, Alabama.  

I have thoroughly enjoyed moving around and being away from home this last decade, and I thought it would be fun to reminisce on my time away as I prepare to move back next month.  So, here’s what I learned from each of my six homes-away-from-home.


Valdosta, Georgia (August 2007):  For my first year of college, I chose to stay very close to home (about 1 hour away) because I was so worried about leaving my family that year.  My mom had a massive heart attack in 2006 before my senior year of college, my dad’s mom, Nanny, passed away, and my oldest sister was pregnant with my precious nephew.  I just felt so strongly that they needed me nearby.  To be honest, we were still living in fear that Momma could have another spontaneous dissection at any time and we could lose her.  Somehow, over the next year, my fear melted away and I figured out that my family wouldn’t implode without me.  By the end of that school year, I had found my wings and was ready to spread them and move a little further away.

Statesboro, Georgia (August 2008):  Being three hours away from home really allowed me to grow into my independence.  I consider Statesboro to be the first place I really thrived away from home.  It’s no secret that the only reason I knew Georgia Southern existed is that my boyfriend at the time had decided to go there.  I didn’t really care to continue doing long-distance with him, so I asked my dad to go check out the campus with me so that maybe I could go there too.  I fell in love with Georgia Southern and Statesboro immediately, and every year I spent there just strengthened and deepened that love.  It certainly affirmed for me that God puts you in the right place at the right time (even if your original intentions for going are dumb and selfish).  My time in Statesboro provided a lot of growth; it was in that place that I became the person I am today.

Columbia, South Carolina (August 2012):  I moved to Columbia to try out what I liked to call “big city living” for the first time.  I was so sure that I would love being in such a populated area, surrounded by great food and lots of fun things to do.  My first year in graduate school, I did love it.  I was surrounded by more diversity than I ever had been before, and I gained a profound appreciation of people with different backgrounds and belief systems.  It was also in Columbia that I learned how to teach and be taught.  Finally, in my second year (after being in NJ that summer), Columbia taught me that big city living wasn’t for me.  At least not right now.  Traffic makes me angry, and being a very small part of a very large machine (in my work life) wasn’t the best for my quality of life.

West Long Branch, New Jersey (Summer, 2013):  New Jersey holds such a special place in my heart.  That summer was amazing – living right on the beach, taking the train into New York City, and getting to know the wonderfully kind souls at Monmouth University.  It was here that I learned how quickly I could fall in love with people and vice versa (‘cuz they loved me too!).  I got to be fully immersed in a different culture (that of the American northeast) which taught me a lot about being Southern, as well.  During my time in NJ, my supervisor chose “adventurous” as a word to describe me.  This was the first time anyone had used this word to describe me, and it felt like a revelation!  I have worn that word like a badge of honor ever since.  New Jersey was also where I learned (or finally accepted) that I do, in fact, have an accent.

LaGrange, Georgia (March 2015): LaGrange is where I fell back in love with small town life.  Maybe it was just because of current events at the time, but the lovely people I met in LaGrange provided a safe place for me to grow into my beliefs.  I developed a professional confidence through my amazing job, where I was made to feel like an essential member of the team.  My supervisor and coworkers really believed in me and trusted my expertise, and I had a lot of responsibility and autonomy.  LaGrange also allowed me to fall in love with my home state again.  I was closer to home than I had been in years – only two and a half hours away – and I found that I really enjoyed spending more time with my family and being closer to them.

Fairhope, Alabama (May 2016):  This was probably my toughest move.  I really took a leap of faith in leaving my career to pursue something that seemed completely different.  I shed a lot of tears over all the changes that were coming at one time and my uncertainty that I would ever find fulfillment, professionally, again.  But the Lord provided a wonderful opportunity in a welcoming place for me to start over, and I learned that my fulfillment is truly found in serving others.  I am blessed to be in a job where I still get to serve.  Moving to Fairhope also taught me that there are so many beautiful places I don’t even know exist!  I had never heard of Fairhope before I was offered a job here, and what a precious little town it has turned out to be.  I’ve loved introducing friends and family to the area, as well.


All these places brought me wonderful friends and mentors.  In my travels, I’ve learned to trust and rely on myself; I’ve learned to love solitude and have become a bit introverted; I’ve discovered my priorities and become confident in my choices to pursue them.  Moving away from home made me a real, bonafide adult.

I can’t count the amount of times I’ve told people, “I’ll never go back to Worth County, Georgia – there’s nothing there for me.”  But in the last couple of years, my feelings have completely changed.  It took me 10 years to have any desire to move back home; but God’s timing is perfect and I know His hand is on this.  I’m genuinely excited to take all the lessons living away for 11 years has brought me and bring them back home.  I can’t wait to spend more time with my family, reconnect with old friends, be helpful to the people I love most, and get involved in my family’s church.  I’m so thankful that my parents are welcoming me back with open arms.  I appreciate your prayers as we start packing this weekend and as we do the big move on June 8th and 9th.  Next stop: Poulan, Georgia (June 2018).

Thursday, April 5, 2018

April, The Month of Balance and Adjustment: Trying to keep up the good work without losing my mind

Hi friends!  Thanks for checking back in with me on my journey through “The Year of Goals”.  I really appreciate all the encouragement and support I’ve received since my last blog post.  What I’ll be doing in this post is telling you about how my March goal turned out and updating you about my plans for April… and beyond!




So let’s do it!

My goal for the month of March was to do a daily devotion in order to draw near to God and strengthen my spiritual health.  Even though I did not do an actual devotion every single day of the month, I feel that this goal was a smashing success!  I stumbled around, at first, trying to find the right way (for me, personally) to go about this daily quiet time with God.  The formula I landed on was:

  • Reading a portion of a book (right now I’m finishing up “Uninvited” by Lysa TerKeurst, of which I can’t say enough positive things)
  • Taking notes on sections/quotes that were important to me
  • Journaling my prayers
  • Writing out prayer requests (I would pray over the same five or six requests each day of the week)
  • Writing a daily list of things for which I am grateful

When I started doing the weekly prayer requests, it felt kind of strange and redundant to pray over the same people and situations over and over every day for a week.  And I felt really convicted by this.  I mean, when someone says, “I’m praying for you,” isn’t this what you expect the person to do?  Actively pray over you over an extended period of time?  Why then, when I say, “I’m praying for you,” do I say a quick prayer once, and then move on with my day?  So I committed to push through the awkward repetition, and go to bat for the people I love every day for a week.  And the results were kind of amazing.  I found that God was actually working in the lives of those I continued praying over.  I don’t want to share everyone else’s business on my blog, but I will give y’all one example, because I know she won’t mind.  :-) 

One week, I committed to praying for my youngest sister, Cori Beth.  She has been married for a year now, and from what I hear, the first few years of marriage can be hard.  On top of this, she has recently been contemplating her next steps with family and career.  So I started praying that God would give her clarity; that He would lead her very specifically in the direction she should go; that she would be attuned to His timing for her life.  She called me out of the blue that week to ask for my help on her cover letter so that she could apply to a Nurse Practitioner program… Not only had God given her clarity on what her next step should be, He had led her to a wonderful, affordable program so that she could confidently pursue this next step!  Then I started praying over her application: that she would have peace and encouragement, no matter the outcome.  And just last week, she found out that she was one of 20 individuals (out of 90 applicants) to be accepted to this program!  Now, I’m not claiming any responsibility for this blessing – but I am amazed at how I’ve really gotten to witness God’s work as I’ve drawn near to Him and committed to spending more quality time with Him.  And I’m so grateful.

I decided to focus on a couple of topics during my bible study: loneliness and waiting.  Any y’all… the Lord really spoke to me on these topics.  I’m eventually going to do a separate blog post on truths I discovered about God’s promises in times of waiting, because I got a lot of material on that topic, and I think it’s relevant to almost all of us in different ways.  For now, let me just say that I feel the Lord working in my life.  I feel His presence and His hand in my time of waiting.  I am working to grow more confident in claiming His promises and living in them, but I’ve come to some really serious realizations in this time - realizations that terrified me in the moment, but I’m excited about them now.  I have so much peace about my period of waiting, which is the best I can ask for moving forward.  Again, more on this later!

This brings me to April.  Let me give you some perspective.

Before “The Year of Goals” started, my schedule looked something like this every day:

  • 7:00am – wake up, get ready for work
  • 8:45am – get to work
  • 5:15pm – leave work 
  • 6:00pm – 10:00pm – make and eat dinner, be lazy, maybe take a shower, eventually go to bed

In February, I added 45 minutes of exercise into the mix.  In March, I added 45 minutes of Bible study/devotion/quiet time each day.  Now, I’m preparing for a week-long cruise and working 10 hour days trying to build up some credit/comp time so that I don’t have to use all my annual leave while I’m on vacation.  Here’s what my schedule looks like at the moment:

·        5:30am – wake up, get ready for work
·        7:00am – get to work
·        5:30pm – leave work
·        6:00pm – make and eat dinner
·        7:00pm – workout
·        7:45pm – shower
·        8:15pm – devotion
·        9:00pm – get ready for bed (walk Gabby, give her medicine, brush teeth, etc)
·        9:30pm – bedtime 

Y’all… this is really hard.  It NEVER works this way.  I’m not usually even in bed by 9:30 much less asleep by that time.  So I never get the 8 hours of sleep I’m trying to; and I don’t know about you, but my body really requires a LOT of sleep and NEVER gets it.  As usual, I have so much respect for parents… How do people do what they need to take care of themselves AND take care of other human beings at the same time?!?  Anyway, the good news is, I won’t always be working 10 hour days.  The bad news is, I will be working 10 hour days throughout the month of April.  So, I’ve decided that it’s more realistic for me to use this month to continue figuring out how to balance everything rather than adding a new goal on top of everything.  In light of this, I declare April “The Month of Balance and Adjustment: Trying to keep up the good work without losing my mind”.  I hope you all will wish me luck and continue praying for me as I work to juggle everything so that I can move more confidently into my next goal.  As you all know by now, June is going to be a month of huge change in my life, so I feel like I need to give myself some breathing room while I can.

And for those of you who care to know, the updated list of goals is below.

2018: The Year of Goals

January – drink more water
February – exercise
March – daily devotion
April – balance and adjustment
May – read more
June – get organized and prepared for my move
July – join Weight Watchers
August – reevaluate my budget and master the art of saving money
September – to be determined
October – to be determined
November – to be determined
December – to be determined

As always, I’d love your advice and suggestions regarding how to be successful at my various goals or goals I should add to the list later in the year.  Thank you for your continued support.  In the meantime, don’t forget to laugh it off!

Monday, March 5, 2018

2018: The Year of Goals

As far back as I can remember, I’ve never been much of a New Year’s Resolution person.  As is evident by my last post, I’m a generally happy person; and I think that’s a bit of a double-edged sword.  While it’s always good to feel positively about oneself, my lack of self-loathing usually leaves me completely unmotivated to do anything to better myself.  So when NYE rolls around every year, I’m not obsessing over things I want to improve, I’m just floating along – #NewYearSameMe.  However, this year, after my first week back at work, I was having a typical RAGING Saturday night: me, on the couch, binge watching TV, eating junk, perusing Pinterest.  And something inspired me.  I didn’t really even know what it was (Spoiler Alert: IT WAS JESUS *prayer hands emoji).  I started a private board, “2018”, and starting pinning things I’d like to start doing this year.  Things to improve my health and well being – physically, spiritually, and financially.  And then, for the first time in as long as I can remember, I got to work doing those things.

So, I have dubbed 2018, “The Year of Goals”, and I’ve set out to incorporate one healthy habit into my life each month.  I don’t yet have goals selected for every month this year, but I have ideas for the ones that aren’t set in stone yet.  Here’s what I have so far:

January: Water
February: Exercise
March: Devotions
April: Read
May: Sleep
June: Organization, Preparation, Focus
July: not decided
August: Savings/Budget
September: not decided
October: not decided
November: not decided
December: not decided

I’m going to break all of these down for you below.  January and February will be fairly detailed since they’ve come and gone, but I’ll do separate posts on each remaining month. 

January: Water
• My goal for January was to increase my daily water intake to the FDA recommended amount.  While I’m usually just under this recommendation each day, I’ve significantly increased my water intake.  
• Some background information: I used to start each day with a can of Diet Coke, the same way some folks start with a cup of coffee.  While I still LOVE Diet Cokes, I made the decision last year to stop stocking my house with them.  I just decided that was money I could be spending elsewhere, and people have been trying to prove to me for years how bad they are for me.  I guess I thought, “Hey, I’ll save some money, and if I happen to lose a little weight, that’s just icing on top!”  I did not lose any weight.  But I broke the habit and just never went back.  Now I only drink Diet Cokes on special occasions, like when I’m out eating at a restaurant or grabbing the occasional fast food.  Even so, I would take one of my stainless steel tumbles full of ice water to work every day, and I wouldn’t even finish that – like I wouldn’t have to refill it once because I would drink so little.  I’m pretty sure I should have just been permanently dehydrated – maybe I was.
• Back to the present: I did some research.  According to the Mayo clinic, the recommended daily water intake for women is 2.7 liters, or 11.5 cups.  My stainless steel tumblers both hold about 17 ounces, so I would need to drink about 5 of them each day to reach the recommended amount.  So I set alarms every day for 10:00 am, 1:00 pm, 4:00 pm, 7:00 pm, and 10:00 pm – reminders to myself to finish the bottle of water I’m working on and move on the next.  After the first week, I didn’t need the alarms anymore, I just knew the times I was supposed to move on to my next bottle.  This particular goal proved fairly easy for me.  I have not lost any weight with my water intake, but I haven’t been discouraged by that fact because it wasn’t my goal to begin with.  Besides, I didn’t change my eating or exercising habits so, I shouldn’t expect some huge physical change here.  I have noticed that I’m sleeping better at night and I feel like I generally have more energy during the day.

February: Exercise
• My goal in February was to exercise for at least 30 minutes, 3 times per week.  Once again, I’m not putting pressure on myself to lose any weight here.  I just want to feel good.  I want to have some stamina.  I don’t want to hurt all over all the time.  I want some extra confidence. I want to feel accomplished.
• I hate exercising.  There, I said it.  Going to a gym, even the small one in my apartment complex, makes me uncomfortable and awkward.  I hate it.  So I did some research and found some bodyweight exercise routines on Pinterest.  I combined a few into a routine that takes about 20 minutes, and then found some post-workout yoga, which takes another 20 minutes.You guys… I kinda enjoy it.  Especially the yoga part.  I hope this means that, eventually, I’ll be able to find a gym where I’m comfortable going and doing some things, like group yoga classes!
• Anyway, I ended up doing about 45 minutes, 2 times per week.  It was only this past week that I was able to get in 3 workouts.  But I’m happy with my progress overall.  I think the biggest win in February was my eagerness to actually do the workouts.

March: Daily Devotions
• My goal in March is to make time for a daily devotion.  This one is obviously focused on my spiritual health, which I’ve certainly been neglecting this past year. I hope to draw near to the Lord in a period of loneliness and bring purpose to this time of my life.

April: Read
• My goal in April is to read more and watch TV less.  I’m not entirely sure how I’ll implement this yet.  My initial thought was to make sure I turn the TV off at a certain time each night, and only read after that time.  I also think I may just commit to not watching TV in bed, only reading while I wind down and try to get to sleep.

May: Sleep
• My goal in May is to get more sleep.  I never wake up in the morning feeling like I’ve gotten enough sleep.  And on any given Friday night, when I have no obligations on Saturday morning, I can easily sleep 11-13 hours.  These things lead me to believe that my body requires more sleep during the week that it’s currently getting.  I try to get 8 hours each night, but I rarely achieve that.  So, in May, I plan to do what I can to prioritize sleep.

June: Organization, Preparation, Focus
• There are some potentially big life changes coming in June for which I need to be organized, prepared, and focused.  I’ll share more about this as soon as I’m able!

August: Savings/Budget
• This will be a good time of year for me to reevaluate my budget and start working on actually saving money each month instead of living paycheck to paycheck.



Part of my aim in sharing these goals with you all is to get your suggestions.  As you can see, I don’t have set goals in mind for July or September – December.  I’d love to know what you’ve done recently to improve your health and well-being that you’d suggest I try.  I have some rough ideas (limiting my gluten intake, trying out Whole30) that I may implement, but I’m open to suggestions.  I’m not just interested in physical health suggestions; I want to improve my overall well-being this year.

My other aim, in sharing these goals with you, is accountability.  I hope that by no longer keeping these private, I’ll be even more motivated to follow through and keep you all posted with my progress.  I’ll be sharing my fears and frustrations and my small and large victories, and I’ll be laughing it off along the way.  I hope that you will pray for me, check on me, and encourage me as I move forward.

So, here’s the 2018: The Year of Goals.  Let’s do this.

Friday, March 2, 2018

My Life Feels like Hot Mess: A Reminder to Us All

My Life Feels like Hot Mess: A Reminder to Us All

Let me recap my Friday for you.

Here’s how it should have gone.

• 5:30 am – Up and at em!
• 6:30 am – Leave for work
• 7:00 am – Get to work
• 11:45 am – Eat lunch, leftovers from last night because I’m broke and have no business eating out
• 3:30 pm – Get off work
• 3:45 pm – Get allergy shots
• 4:15 pm – Head home to enjoy a raging Friday night with the Gabster (my canine companion, of course)

Here’s how it actually went.
• 5:30 am – Alarm goes off; I hit snooze
• 6:00 am – I decide that I’ll go get my shot when they open at 8:00 am and head to work afterwards.  Sure, I’ll have to work until 5:30, but at least I get another 30 minutes of sleep!”
• 6:30 am – Alarm goes off again; I hit snooze again
• 6:45 am – I finally get out of bed... and move to get ready as quickly as possible.
• 7:35 am – I decide I have time to go by Starbucks and grab some breakfast on my way to the allergist.
• 7:45 am – I go through the Starbucks drive-thru, ordering a drink and a breakfast sandwich.  They hand me my drink, I say, “Thank you”… And proceed to drive off without my sandwich.  I get about 1 mile down the road before I realize.  My immediate instinct is to turn around, but I don’t have the extra five minutes to spare.  If I don’t head straight to the allergist, I won’t have time to get the shot, wait the 30 minutes for observation, and still get to work on time.  My next thought is to call them and explain what I did, pray they can credit me for the sandwich somehow.  As soon as I pick the phone up, I remember that don’t have cell service at the moment (due to a mistake regarding the switch from Verizon to AT&T, my Verizon service was cut off before my AT&T phone got to me).  “Oh well,” I think, “I’m just out of that $6.  Gotta move on with my day.”
• 8:02 am – I arrive at the allergist, and they inform me that they don’t have any serum to give me a shot, because I never returned a call from the billing department about mixing a new vial.  I just laugh at myself at this point.  Of course I can’t even get my allergy shot.  It’s no one’s fault but mine, and there’s nothing we can do about it today.  I’ll call the billing folks when I get to work.
• 11:35 am – My breakfast-sandwich-less stomach is growling.  I decide it’s time for lunch… and remember that my leftovers are still sitting in the fridge at home. I order from the Mexican restaurant across the street, spending money I don’t have.  By the time I pick it up and get back to the office, my 30-minute lunch is 10 minutes from over, so I eat quickly and give myself indigestion.

Now this particular day is definitely more of a hot mess than most, but it triggered me to want to write about the general lack of control I feel in my life.  I find small moments of purpose – like when I’m genuinely helpful to a member of the public at work or when I find the time to exercise a couple of days a week – but overall, I feel totally out of control.  Like I’m always staying up later than I planned, and never getting enough sleep, forgetting to call someone, blowing my budget a week before I get paid again.  My apartment is messy, my car is disgusting (which is one of my dad’s pet peeves… Sorry, Dad!), my hair goes up in a bun almost every day for work.  What am I doing?

I wish I could press a reset button on Monday and suddenly be the person I want to be.  What’s stopping me?  The answer: in a lot of ways, I already am the person I want to be.  I am kind, generous, and patient.  I generally have high self-esteem.  I’m funny and encouraging.  So what if I’m a hot mess?  I’m a hot mess of awesome.  So here’s a reminder to myself and all of you: just keep doing the best you can.  Appreciate yourself! Give yourself a break.  LAUGH IT OFF!  You’re okay.  You’re great!  And I’m great too.